Headlines

I USE MY FLY-SWAT-TER TO SWAT BACK THE SWAT TEAM WITH AN EXPLOSION IN VIRGINIA MANCOW STYLE!

HOUSE EXPLOSION ROCKS VIRGINIA NEIGHBORHOOD AS POLICE TRY TO SERVE SEARCH WARRANT

LORD SAID
(I HAVE A BEING OF MASS DESTRUCTION TO DO THIS)
I’M BRINGING THE HAUNTED HOUSE TO YOUR DOORSTEP! YOU WON’T HAVE TO TRAVEL TO IT!
MINUTES LATER